life

well i am writing this cause of what happened to my mother, she was in the hospital for minor injuries. tho it still scared me because of her age. i love my mother with all my heart and solil, i dont know what i would do with out her. i hate seeing her in pain from the fall she took, it just scared me. and it sorta made me re-evaluate life and what the future holds for me, as i see it i dont think i will ever have a GF or a family of my own, due to the lifestyle i live. even tho i want that life with all my heart, it seems it will never come. also i have few physical freinds i can talk to that know me, no one wants to be freinds with a tranny. the freinds i do have seem to be all online,. tho they are great and all, its not the same as real phsycial freinds, i am doomed to a life of no freinds and no family of my own and no Girl freind. i love life dont get me wrong i just wish it was a lot more better for me, been thinking of life a lot lately just because of what i see others have. it makes me think of what i want but will never get. one of my biggest fears is dying alone. i am happy for my parents as they love each other and to know that they will always be together. one thing i regret at this point in my life is that i wouldnt be able to give my parents grand children, there are four F's that are essential to be happy in life and they are FAMILY. FRIENDS, FAITH, FUN, you need all of these to have a fulfilling life. i have maybe two of these. i am sorry if this sounds really sad and all its seems that life for me is only soso, and that nothing good or anything happens to me.